i get caught up in things i shouldn't be doing or thinking about easily. like now - i wanted to write about what happened between my dog and me yesterday. but i digress...
so, we're lying on the garage floor. he's licking my wounds - and this can be open to any interpretation on your part. i feel acutely sensitive to be care for. then comes my brother-in-law. he approaches me because he's looking for the key. as he stretches out his hand to get the keys from my hand, nick growls. i shh-ed him. but i was radiant with pride. to be cared for. the whole thing was so mesmerizing - not because of the action itself, but rather because of the implications on an emotional level - that one of my top priorities now is to make enough money to get myself a house in which nick can live with me. in sp! yeah!
seriously, i almost cried after this incident as i felt so loved. :) ahhh, nick! (L) and apart from this, there's also the fact that people have been doing a bad job taking care of him - he's grown much fatter than he used to be and now he's got something going on in his stomach that makes him eat more grass than a horse ever would.
there are so many books i'd like to (have) read. and so many books i HAVE to read. today i read the guardian after a looooong time. it felt so nice. it was like recovering something that had been lost. it's not that i feel any kind of strange urge to read the guardian, but it's just that it reminds me of when i was still at school with few worries on my mind apart from getting into college and similarly petty goals. now that things are much more complex - and i should emphasize that - it's like a breath of fresh air reminding me of how easy life was then. or at least, how easy life seems to have been compared to what it's like now. anyway, i'll do my best to catch up with all the things i should have been reading.
next year i'm doing the cambridge icelt. i simply can't forget to pay my registration for the course TOMORROW at the latest! i was so glad to have been accepted as a candidate into the course! YAY. finally, i'm getting a cambridge university qualification to embellish my cv, which is rather stale of late. aaah. i know it'll be the hell of a busy year, but i'm kind of excited. i've always needed a bit of pressure to get things going for me and i feel this is just what i need right now to give me a sense of purpose career-wise. and confidence, too. and a bit of recognition. and some extra bucks, hopefully.
i know i shouldn't be using "hopefully" carelessly, but i can't help. it fits in so nicely.
she was holding one of her pieces in the air. garrulous. she couldn't hear my voice. she then went on to say: shall i...? i didn't bother with the end to that sentence and kept munching on my cookies. once in a while i'd raise my eyes over my glasses and hum something - active listening, as they call it.
a good listener always knows when to ah and erm.
DROP THE DRAMA, DARLING
of when suicide starts to seem like a good idea...
what's that called? alliteration, eh?
SHITE
i see santa hanging from the chimney. he's holding a bell on his right hand - frozen, beguiling, silently watching me. he seems to have a grin on his face. but i'm not really sure if it's a grin or if he's just pouting his fat lips. upon closer scrutiny, it's not me he's watching. it's something that's on me. my sweatshirt, maybe? my chocolate bar? my glass of water? the chair i'm sitting on?
i guess i'll never know.
INTERNAL INCONSISTENCY
Feel Secure in Your Value
A king arose in the middle of the night and fixed the wick of a lamp to prevent it from extinguishing. His subjects asked him, "Why did you not ask us to do it?" "I was the king when I arose, and I was still the king when I went back to sleep," he replied. The lesson: Someone who is aware of his value does not worry about losing it.
A king arose in the middle of the night and fixed the wick of a lamp to prevent it from extinguishing. His subjects asked him, "Why did you not ask us to do it?" "I was the king when I arose, and I was still the king when I went back to sleep," he replied. The lesson: Someone who is aware of his value does not worry about losing it.
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